Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
