but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
