And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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