as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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