In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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