so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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