Having a random hookup so left but love u
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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