This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
