I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
