I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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