So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
