I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize