i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
