Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
