I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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