My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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