Sry I called you an 8
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
