We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
