GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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