Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
