i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
