Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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