they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
