Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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