I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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