i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
God, I missed his penis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
