you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize