Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
