So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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