I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
