Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
