This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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