I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
