I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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