She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
