Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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