he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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