Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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