Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
