Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
