If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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