belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
