If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
