Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
