So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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