Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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