It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
