I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
