I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
