I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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