Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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