I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
