Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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