Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I touched a dick in church today
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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