i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
