i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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