Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
