so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
