On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
