He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize