So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
