he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
