hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
