We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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