benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
