i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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