dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
