he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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