shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
