he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
