oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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