I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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