I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
