I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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