in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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