I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize