I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
