Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
