I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
