marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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