Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
